Memoir Material

Dear Mom,

It's a new year which always means new possibilities for even the least goal oriented individual. For me, it means so many new ideas that I can try out.

The other day, a reader suggested that I write a memoir after seeing the content of my letters. I had never thought about it before because, of course, I've never written one. Besides that, I'm not even sure how a memoir is put together. What do you think?

I already know that these letters may or may not rub you the wrong way. If I were to place the feelings that I   have in a book, would that make you even more disappointed in me? Or would you pretend it doesn't exist as you do my letters?

For the record, these letters that I spend so much time writing have given me so much clarity. They have allowed me, thus far, to let go of anger that has been bottled up for so many years. It gives me a voice again, considering you took my voice long ago. Well, not exactly took it, but you smothered it to the point I have to dig for it when I want to really be heard by others.

All of the things I do, especially expressing my feelings for you, is to help me become better. A better mother. A better significant other. A better writer. Most importantly, a better woman. I see myself so much differently than before I started this.

I have been thinking deeply about the memoir idea and will let you know if I decide to go ahead with it. I would love your opinion on it regardless that I know you may not be too happy about it.

Until then,

Your daughter

Symphony

Dear Mom,

I wrote a poem some time ago that I found the other day. It's not one of my greatest verses but it brings back so many memories of you at a younger time. It was a time when you were in your musical prime, teaching thousands of students the love of music.

Watching the way you loved the sounds of the different instruments in a symphony used to make me smile so big and proud. You are the reason that, to this day, when I am in need of relaxation classical music plays through my house.You instilled a love for music that is indescribable.

The poem I want to share with you was inspired at a time when I was listening to a symphony play on the Classical Music channel. The words kind of blurted themselves out onto paper and this is what came out of it:

as the Symphony plays

i think of my mother

she instilled music in me

desire like no other

she taught me the instruments

with their different sounds

she taught me from a little girl

classical is where the love was found

this masterpiece reminds me

of my mother’s youthful gaze

her love for music was evident

that memory I replay

I hope you enjoyed that. There are many other poems that you have inspired me to write, good or bad. What matters most, is not the content but the fact that I allow myself to relinquish harsh feelings and bask in better days.

Maybe one day you'll come see me perform one of these poems.

Until then,

Your daughter